Biden to Send $3 Trillion on Plane to Iran as Apology for Soleimani Assassination

Following in the footsteps of his mentor, Barak Hussein Obama, Joe Biden is preparing to cower to the Iranian Caliphate in the form of a $3 trillion apology for the Trump administration’s assassination of their top General, Qassem Soleimani.

While the assassination was celebrated by democracies worldwide, Democrats in the US accused Trump of showboating, resulting in raised tensions with the Muslim country.

The continuous funneling of cash from US taxpayers to Iran between the Obama, and now Biden administrations, is shameful. While our veterans lay homeless on our streets and our corporations are being threatened with higher taxes, Democrats have decided to fund a known enemy to the US.

This is the very definition of treason. Not even bleeding heart Jimmy Carter sank so low in his dealings with Iran.

The jet, handpicked by Biden’s Secretary of State Anthony Blinken, is a Dassault Falcon 8X. While the Dassault made its name in the military and commercial aircraft space, the larger Falcon jets carved out a niche in the business space due to their impressive range (5,950 nautical miles), a digital flight control system, and an ability to customize the plane’s interiors into 30+ formats depending on usage priorities.

With the versatility to make both long-range and short-range trips courtesy of a tri-jet engine, the Falcon models offer speed, efficiency, and improved comfort.  Sources tell us there will be a handwritten note from Biden on top of the cash that will simply say, “Enjoy the cash. Keep the Jet.”

Due to its payload, this flight will take on a particular significance in aeronautic history. It will be the most valuable payload ever transported by aircraft. To bear this grave responsibility, Bilken enlisted retired US Airways pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, famed pilot depicted by the legendary Tom Hanks in the 2016 blockbuster hit “Sully”.

Sullenberger insisted his longtime personal flight steward Andres Esquer be along for the all-important flight. Esquer famously served an entire Boeing 777 full of rowdy Oasis fans two cocktails each from one single liter of vodka on an international flight from Heathrow to JFK in 1998, a feat that is still mentioned during pillow talk amongst flight attendants and pilots to this day.

He is certified in CPR and BJJ.  He is also an amateur pilot, more than capable of manhandling the aircraft should anything unfortunate befall Sully.

The offer of cash as an apology only serves to lessen our standing in the world. The only silver lining here is that it is being delivered by the best America has to offer.

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